Being A Parent Makes You Feel Helpless
It is likely Ezra has some sort of reflux issue. Most the symptoms of reflux he does exhibit and the methods to decrease the effect of reflux like making sure to feed him in smaller quantities and hold him up right after feeding has helped stop him from crying a lot and puking up.
He has been crying today, but only during the past few hours. It was only after giving him his pacifier that he was able to relax and sleep for a few minutes and not make us feel too helpless.
The helplessness is only further enforced by sleeplessness of being a parent. The mind seems to slip further into doubt of self the more tired one becomes. At least mine does. And it sucks. It sucks because there were many moments of joy today that I had with Ezra today like when he was smiling this morning or like when he was sleeping on my chest or when he was looking around at the world as we walked outside, but all these moments are now silent due to the recent screams and cries of Ezra in pain and misery echoing in my mind. A mind that is wanting only rest and to be calm and to see a smile on the face of Ezra.